ROACHIE
MICROWAVED. MUTATED. MARKET-TESTED.
WHO'S ROACHIE?
Born inside a microwave during the FTX collapse.
His first words were: "WHERE TOKEN?"
He's been dodging SEC lawsuits ever since.
Wears Gucci flip-flops and a Ledger wallet like a chain.
WON'T DIE. WON'T SELL.
ROACHIE'S FIT
GUCCI FLIP-FLOPS
Bought with stolen presale funds.
BROKEN LEDGER
It buzzes when the market pumps.
ONE AIRPOD
The other one's stuck in a DAO vote.
PERMANENT SMIRK
He knows he's going to billions. He likes it.
WHY IS HE SO COOL?
IMMUNE TO RUGS
Roaches never die.
BROKEN LEDGER. STILL HOLDS.
He doesn't trade. He absorbs.
FASHION ICON
Has the most drip of any crypto character. Knows it.
NOT A UTILITY. A DISEASE.
Spreads faster than non-profit crypto projects with a governance token.
🪳 COMMUNITY
YOU BOUGHT DREAMS.
YOU BOUGHT PROMISES.
NOW BUY SOMETHING THAT CAN'T DIE EVEN IF IT TRIES.